-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Thought of the day…
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Thought of the day…
Renaissance & Rest. My weekend was spent with good friends & sweet puppies. I channeled my inner flower child at the Texas Renaissance Festival, where I saw a little fairy being painted from head to toe. I wish I would have thought of that when I was a kid! The Renaissance Festival is one of my favorite annual events. It’s an opportunity to eat anything & everything on a stick and enjoy some excellent people watching. This year did not disappoint.
A good deal of time was also spent cuddling with my furry babies. They kept me company while I sat on the couch and enjoyed my newest purchase, Apple TV. I had been thinking about getting it for a while, and I’m so glad I finally did. It’s the perfect investment for someone who canceled their cable in favor of Hulu & Netflix. I ended up spending a good chunk of Sunday flying through season one of Sons of Anarchy. If it weren’t for work & having to be an adult, I’d probably still be sitting on my couch watching season two.
Missing you. It’s hard to believe that it’s been four years since my phone rang. The moment I answered, I knew something was wrong. As soon as she said your name, I knew you were gone. It’s been four years since I’ve seen that smile, that wonderful infectious smile. It’s been four years since you gave me a big bear hug. It’s been four years since I heard your voice & your laughter. I miss you, dear friend. We all do. But although it’s been four years, your memory is still alive inside all of those who love you. Rest in peace my sweet friend. I love you.
Needed. Yesterday I had a low point in my decision to be sober. I didn’t crave a drink, but instead I thought of all that I will miss out on by not drinking. Going out with friends to a hole-in-the-wall bar, my annual girls trip to the winery in Boerne, TX, meeting a cute guy for drinks, sipping celebratory champagne at weddings, NYE, and so on. These thoughts made me think of what would happen if I went back on my decision, if I allowed myself just one little drink from time to time. But then I received two very well-timed messages, one here on tumblr and one in my gmail inbox. Both messages were heart-felt and uplifting. Both reminded me of why I made this decision. Both reinforced that I am doing the right thing for myself. Are there things that I will miss out on because of this decision? Absolutely. But I’m gaining so much more.
Inspire Faith. Spotted at the Nutcracker Market this weekend.
Veteran’s Day. On Saturday morning, as I was running a quick errand at Wal-mart, I was approached by a veteran with this poppy. He did not ask for a donation. All he did was hand me the poppy, give me a big smile, and ask me to wear it in honor of our veterans. I usually am not one to stop and donate to people who are outside of stores, but as I walked out of the store on the way to my car, I stopped to give a few dollars. It wasn’t much, but it was something. The thing is, when I was stopped by the man I was immediately reminded of my Papa who fought in WW II, my Popo who fought in the Korean war, my cousin who served in the Marines, my best friend and his sister who both spent time overseas with the Army, and another important person in my life who spent several years overseas serving in the Marines. I am lucky enough to be able to say that all of my loved ones who have served this country have come home safely. Not everyone can say the same. Some never make it home and some that do are never the same. Our troops and veterans deserve our support & respect. I am thankful for them today and everyday.
Sunday Blues. After a wonderful [& emotional] weekend spent with mama & baby sister, I’m once again alone. They both just left to head home, and I’m left feeling the Sunday blues.
When I was in college, I frequently experienced the Sunday blues. When Sunday rolled around, I always longed to be home. Now that I’m an adult, my Sunday blues come in a different form, but they still creep in. Now I feel the loneliness of being single, living on my own without a partner or family to enjoy the quiet laziness that a day like today will bring.
I enjoy living on my own, but I’d gladly share my space with someone. I’d love to curl up on the couch with my best friend, the puppies, and a mug of steaming coffee on a morning like this. The trouble is, I haven’t found that someone yet, and I sometimes wonder if I ever will.
As my front door closed behind mama this morning, I immediately felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks. I know I’ll be okay, I am okay, but the feeling of loneliness has set in, and I have a feeling I won’t be able to shake it today.
Life According to Instagram. Sunday morning coffee & homework | Breakfast for dinner… Yum!!! | My first peppermint mocha & red cup of the season | Realizing that I can finally put my hair into a little side braid after chopping it all off forever ago | Drooling over these classic novels with fun, new covers
Family. Tomorrow my mama & baby sister are coming to visit for the weekend, and I could not be more excited! I was lucky enough to grow up in a family that has always been extremely close, but when my daddy passed away we became even closer. My mama & baby sister are two of my best friends, and they are the most important people in my life. Of course, we aren’t perfect. We disagree, fight, and get annoyed with each other as all families do, but we always kiss & make-up. They are my heart, and any time I get to spend with them is my favorite time. This weekend we are continuing our annual tradition of going to The Nutcracker Market. It’s a perfectly girly & holiday filled weekend spent with my two favorite people. I cannot wait!
Happiness. This weekend I attended a beautiful wedding shower for a sweet friend. This friend is an incredible woman who has weathered a few storms in her life. It was wonderful to be able to celebrate the happiness she’s found, and I’m very much looking forward to celebrating her and her man on their wedding day. I’ve reached a point in my life where I feel genuine happiness for the people around me who are getting married. There was a time when, although I was happy for people, I also felt a twinge of jealousy & resentment. I’m glad to have passed that phase. This new phase feels so much better, but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t leave the shower feeling a little down. As happy as I am for my friends who have found love, it still makes me sad that I haven’t. But instead of feeling jealousy, I now feel hopeful. When I see the love that my friends have found, it gives me hope that I’ll find it someday as well… when the time is right. Until then, I’ll continue being genuinely & truly happy for the people I care about.
Refreshed. This was the first weekend since school started that I really rested. For the past couple of months, I was either moving, out of town, or getting overly intoxicated on a Friday night, which in turn would ruin the rest of my weekend. This weekend was a breath of fresh air. I slept in, woke up feeling rested & refreshed, ran errands, and got a lot of homework done. It wasn’t anything eventful, but it was exactly what I needed. It also reinforced to me that I am making the right decision in cutting alcohol out of my life.
Whenever your faith in people is lost, remember these pictures.
Changes. Yesterday I came home craving a beer. I was in the mood for a nice pumpkin beer. What’s better on Halloween than a pumpkin beer? It was the first day since making my big decision that I really craved alcohol, but instead of satisfying my craving, I did my best to push it out of my mind. It’s a strange feeling. I’m a 28 year old woman. I should be able to have a beer if I want one, but because of the decision I’ve made, I can’t or won’t. In a way I feel like a child being told that I can’t do something, but I know that the decision I made is one that only a responsible adult can make. In the end it felt good to resist the craving. It may feel weird for a while, but that’s usually how change works, right? I just have to keep reminding myself that this is a positive change.